This next week may be some what of a challenge with kids home and no real event to keep their minds from focusing on the fact that Regina is not sharing these times here with us. This is actually healthy I know, but still painful. So,I am asking that you pray maybe one extra prayer that; they work through their grief not blaming God, themselves, or each other. That God continues to give us the grace to bring us all through this. And as we feel sad that that draw us close to Christ and His word. Pray that our devotionals start back-up with consistency and no distractions.
I want to thank any and all that had any hand in making CHRISTmas special for our family even in the midst of sadness. May God bless you and hold you close to Himself. We were blessed beyond anything I could have imagined, the kids all have at least three new outfits to start back to school with. at least one toy.
That's all for today.
God Bless
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Lonely and Relying on God
Lonely, yes last night was the first time I spent the night alone in the house realizing this is what it will be like once the kids are gone, then reality struck me and that won't be anytime soon. It will be at least a decade before this house is an empty nest. I have no idea what God has planned for my life in the future all I can live for, is now. I have been told to take those moments, when I'm alone, and seize them for what they are; a time to reflect or speak to God. Don't think I gave Him that chance since all I could do was think of who to call or text so I didn't feel so alone. I know the kids are having fun with there cousins as I sit and feel sorry for myself. I didn't even realize last night the mess the house is in, I'm glad I fell asleep before anyone responded to my text, looks like a bomb went off. So, after I get finished writing I'll get up and clean. Near as I can tell I fell asleep about 8:30 last night problem is that means my body alarm went off at 3:30 this am, never to return to sleep. For the past five hours I watched two movies, read my Bible (not to worry it was light reading in Revelation) and sobbed like a baby b/c I miss Regina so much, I guess God finally got the time He wanted. Everyone tells me it will get better each day and I do believe that is true but part of me has been torn out. I can live without my gall bladder they tell me, (they want to take that out now, more on that below) but not your heart. How can you live without your heart? Regina was my heart she was the vessel that God used to make me a better man. I didn't say a good man but I was better because when I let her down I let Christ down, and I wanted to do neither. Many didn't understand how truly fragile Regina was because her boldness and the need for shock value always was shown first. But she was no different than you and me got her feelings hurt, she felt inadequate at times and even feared failure. Because we believed God put us together we knew we completed each other in the Lord. Fact is she embolden me to be all I can be in Christ.
I mentioned earlier that they want my gall bladder, here's the story. Months ago had chest pains and went to the hospital. Did the stress test and everything all clear, yes they said I need to loose some weight. I was still having problems, went to regular Dr again and he ordered a liver scan had a follow-up appointment when Regina went in the hospital in October. Completely forgot until they called and said I needed to come in. I did and they reran blood work with the same results confirming what the scan found. I have some meds to help the attacks until it is removed.
That's it for now. God Bless and Merry Christmas.
I mentioned earlier that they want my gall bladder, here's the story. Months ago had chest pains and went to the hospital. Did the stress test and everything all clear, yes they said I need to loose some weight. I was still having problems, went to regular Dr again and he ordered a liver scan had a follow-up appointment when Regina went in the hospital in October. Completely forgot until they called and said I needed to come in. I did and they reran blood work with the same results confirming what the scan found. I have some meds to help the attacks until it is removed.
That's it for now. God Bless and Merry Christmas.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Grieving Widower
It has almost two weeks since Regina's homecoming and four days since we "Celebrated" that day together. Those of you that came thank you for your support. Those of you that couldn't make it I am sorry you missed it. I personally have never been to a service that every part was moving; From the slideshow, the music, the prayer, the Eulogies, the special tribute song, all the way through to the message that was delivered. I was so proud of my daughter who delivered an excellant picture of Regina. Many people that attended never knew Regina not sick, they all have told me how much they wish they could have been friends with her. I was amazed at the amount of people in attendance (people were standing in the back) another proof that we can all touch many lives as we invest in others. I am going to try to see if I can post the tribute. Let you know.
Regina is sorely missed already as she has left a huge void in our lives. But, I can tell you that it is one day at a time, with certain things triggering those memories that bring you sadness knowing that they are not here. I woke up the other night, still half asleep, and was looking for Regina on the empty side of the bed, only to realize that she won't be sleeping there. Remember this my wife did not loose her battle with cancer, as the Pastor said in better words than I've heard from another, "Regina never tasted death, the only reason she even realized she was dead is because she was face-to-face with Jesus." Christians should find great comfort in this fact. It is unnatural for me to be a "widower" it is not right for the kids to be without a Mom. Am I ad at God for this? No way He is not the authur of death, that's Satan's gig. God's will is for us to have life, abundant life unfortunatly sickness and death entered into the world with the fall of Adam and Eve.
Eternal life is still available to us through Jesus. This time of year we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Though we celebrate it that is only the start of His story. You see He came was subjected to all of the pain from loss and the temptations of life but, He did not waiver. After living a perfect life He layed it down as a sacrifice for ALL of our sins. And if we admit it, believe it and confess it we will never taste the sting of death either. It's not to late for you---yet??? What is holding you back???
Until we meet again Regina, I love you.
Regina is sorely missed already as she has left a huge void in our lives. But, I can tell you that it is one day at a time, with certain things triggering those memories that bring you sadness knowing that they are not here. I woke up the other night, still half asleep, and was looking for Regina on the empty side of the bed, only to realize that she won't be sleeping there. Remember this my wife did not loose her battle with cancer, as the Pastor said in better words than I've heard from another, "Regina never tasted death, the only reason she even realized she was dead is because she was face-to-face with Jesus." Christians should find great comfort in this fact. It is unnatural for me to be a "widower" it is not right for the kids to be without a Mom. Am I ad at God for this? No way He is not the authur of death, that's Satan's gig. God's will is for us to have life, abundant life unfortunatly sickness and death entered into the world with the fall of Adam and Eve.
Eternal life is still available to us through Jesus. This time of year we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Though we celebrate it that is only the start of His story. You see He came was subjected to all of the pain from loss and the temptations of life but, He did not waiver. After living a perfect life He layed it down as a sacrifice for ALL of our sins. And if we admit it, believe it and confess it we will never taste the sting of death either. It's not to late for you---yet??? What is holding you back???
Until we meet again Regina, I love you.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Below in bold type is what my daughter wrote on facebook. Please come and join us for a great time of reflection. I am truly blessed to have such great Family, Friends and FAMILY (like minded believers. I have not blogged in a while not because I didn't have plenty to say, I did, but because there are times in your life that you must look deep inside yourself and find your direction. I have been in full survivor mode that I have lost myself within myself. I won't try to explain any further other than I was so focused on my situation that I spent little time on making myself better. I know what your thinking: Of course that's what caretakers do. Well I am here to tell you, There is a new "sheriff in town", okay not really but it time to focus some effort into resurrecting the heathier side of me. So, as you see me... "and ask me how I'm doing" be sure and ask me "how my walk is" or "how my health is". I need to keep my mind right and get this temporary body back in shape in order to last however long I have left here. Now that Regina is gone to be with our Beloved Jesus, I am left here to hold it all together. I will have much support I know but most of you won't be there at 3am when I wake up and realize my wife is no longer lying next to me, as she has for the past 23 years 5 months and 17 days of our marriage. I have stated before that Regina completed me. She made me who I am, I would have never taught a Bible Study Class unless she had encouraged me to do. I would never have persued sales over management had she not told me how gifted I was. And as I read this morning on a blog ( www.wherefaithis.blogspot.com ) I would never have been challenged to know God but for God putting her in my life. Again Please come join us this Saturday as we Celebrate the Life of my wife, Regina.
God Bless
MY MOM'S CELEBRATION OF LIFE!!!!!
All,
The arrangements for the CELEBRATION OF LIFE of Regina Carlton have been set. Details are below:
... ...
Date: Saturday, December 17TH
Time: 11:00 am
Location: Northeast Houston Baptist Church
**EVERYONE WHO ATTENDS IS ENCOURAGED TO WEAR BRIGHT COLORS AS THIS WAS MY MOTHER'S WISHES
THIS WILL BE A FESTIVE AND JOYOUS OCCASION**
She will be cremated so there will not be a viewing or visitation on Friday night. There will also not be a graveside service on Saturday.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that donations be given to Farrington Mission that is owned and operated by the Northeast Houston Community Center, www.farringtonmission.org. Checks can be made out to “Northeast Houston Community Center” and mailed to the following address:
Northeast Houston Baptist ChurcH Community Center
c/o Northeast Houston Baptist Church
18000 West Lake Houston Parkway
Humble, Texas 77346
In Christ
God Bless
MY MOM'S CELEBRATION OF LIFE!!!!!
All,
The arrangements for the CELEBRATION OF LIFE of Regina Carlton have been set. Details are below:
... ...
Date: Saturday, December 17TH
Time: 11:00 am
Location: Northeast Houston Baptist Church
**EVERYONE WHO ATTENDS IS ENCOURAGED TO WEAR BRIGHT COLORS AS THIS WAS MY MOTHER'S WISHES
THIS WILL BE A FESTIVE AND JOYOUS OCCASION**
She will be cremated so there will not be a viewing or visitation on Friday night. There will also not be a graveside service on Saturday.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that donations be given to Farrington Mission that is owned and operated by the Northeast Houston Community Center, www.farringtonmission.org. Checks can be made out to “Northeast Houston Community Center” and mailed to the following address:
Northeast Houston Baptist ChurcH Community Center
c/o Northeast Houston Baptist Church
18000 West Lake Houston Parkway
Humble, Texas 77346
In Christ
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Tim Tebow
Great for our time. It is not often you here people thank Jesus for there life, on public TV. But Tim does and he takes a great deal of flake for doing so. Jake Plummer asked him to tone it down and when asked Tim's response was great. He said and I paraphrase, if you were married is it enough to tell your spouse just once you love her? By no means, you tell her everyday and often many times a day. Jesus is the most important thing in my life and anytime I get the opportunity to tell Him I love him, that's what I'm going to do.
Yeah Tim and God Bless you.
Yeah Tim and God Bless you.
I'll be home for Christmas
I heard this song on the radio the other day and thought about Regina. It's hard to be sad knowing how, I would love for all believers to be home for Christmas. Another song comes to mind sung by Mercy Me written by Bart Marshall Millard, I give both credit b/c I am going to quote some of the lyrics.
I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see when Your face is before me
Surrounded by Your glory what will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine when that day comes and I find myself standing in the sun I can only imagine when all I will do is forever, forever worship You.
I believe Regina will be in awe and as I stated from a conversation before this song was written that she wants to just sit at the feet of Jesus for the first thousand years. I am also sure she will sing Hallelujah because she loves to sing and forever worship Jesus. Man what a day that will be for her. Not too long ago before Regina was not communicating she wrote on her board to me, "I am ready to go home. To my new home where cancer doesn't exist, no pain, no sorrow, no tears." I kept talking to her and I reminded her this is not our home, yes Jesus went and has prepared a new home and that where I am you may be also. Regina will be face to face on that day she is finally called. Regina is strong but her body is week. She is comfortable and unless God's mighty hand touches her soon He will be bringing her home within a few days. So, yes she will BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.
Oh how I love her and am missing her already. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I want every person she has ever known to be able to say "see ya later" on that day. So, if you are still trying to decide what you are going to do about this "Jesus" you have heard about. Ask me how to have that relationship it's not too late for you until you breath that last breath. When will that be, and are you sure you have that long???
On a personal note as things go I am having a medical procedure done today at 3:00pm, they are going to remove more tissue from a mole that was on my face, for as long as I can remember, removed it on the 18th and came back positive as Melanoma. Only in our current situation am I be the least bit concerned. So pray they get it all and there is no need to do anything else.
Thank you and may God Bless you all.
I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see when Your face is before me
Surrounded by Your glory what will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine when that day comes and I find myself standing in the sun I can only imagine when all I will do is forever, forever worship You.
I believe Regina will be in awe and as I stated from a conversation before this song was written that she wants to just sit at the feet of Jesus for the first thousand years. I am also sure she will sing Hallelujah because she loves to sing and forever worship Jesus. Man what a day that will be for her. Not too long ago before Regina was not communicating she wrote on her board to me, "I am ready to go home. To my new home where cancer doesn't exist, no pain, no sorrow, no tears." I kept talking to her and I reminded her this is not our home, yes Jesus went and has prepared a new home and that where I am you may be also. Regina will be face to face on that day she is finally called. Regina is strong but her body is week. She is comfortable and unless God's mighty hand touches her soon He will be bringing her home within a few days. So, yes she will BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.
Oh how I love her and am missing her already. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I want every person she has ever known to be able to say "see ya later" on that day. So, if you are still trying to decide what you are going to do about this "Jesus" you have heard about. Ask me how to have that relationship it's not too late for you until you breath that last breath. When will that be, and are you sure you have that long???
On a personal note as things go I am having a medical procedure done today at 3:00pm, they are going to remove more tissue from a mole that was on my face, for as long as I can remember, removed it on the 18th and came back positive as Melanoma. Only in our current situation am I be the least bit concerned. So pray they get it all and there is no need to do anything else.
Thank you and may God Bless you all.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving
Never take for granted what you have, it could all be gone someday. Life has but one promise and that is an END. This is not the end of your soul it is however, the end of your time here on earth. It is also not a sad thing it is a very natural thing, not a fun thing but a natural event. We don't know when it will happen we just know that someday it will. Big question the is where oh where has my soul gone??? You can have assurance that you can spend eternity in Heaven and you don't have to do anything for it. In fact I don't care how much you try you can't: buy it, earn it or even deserve it. You do have to BELIEVE something though. You must believe that God sent His Son to live here on earth: live a perfect life, be tempted the same way you are and to pay the price for sin. His name was Jesus and He came to do for us, and do what we can not do for ourselves... We are brought into relationship with a God that allows no sin because Jesus' blood on the cross paid the price as a perfect sacrifice. So, if you beleive in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord you spend eternity with Him. Because He said, "I go to prepare a place for you, I will come back again abd receive you unto myself, so that where I am you my be also." (John 14:3) Don't take anything for granted be (THANKFUL AND GIVING) for life her and here after.
Well, we have seen more days than any nurse at Hospice thought we would and we are Thankful. I am Thankful for...
1. A God who knit me in the womb. making me what I am today.
2. His saving grace that is sufficient everyday as I rely on it.
3. Showing Himself to me that I can know Him personally.
4. protecting my wife, Regina until He prepared our meeting.
5. God giving me the one person that fills every void I have 23-years, 5-months, 1-day ago and counting.
6. four incredible blessings we call; Katie, Madison, Hannah and Harrison
7. the fact that each one has responded and call Jesus--Lord.
8. a free country founded upon Christian principles.
9. men and women who protect those freedoms.
10. a home to live in.
11. a church home that loves serving God.
12. a Pastor that even teaches on the hard issues of the Bible and unashammed.
13. the living and breathing Bible he preaches from, "God's Word" to us.
14. the many people who have loved on, prayed for and cryed with us.
15. a spouse that shows me how to persevere.
16. affliction for without it I could not see my blessing.
17. peace that passes all understanding.
18. "Hope", the hope that assures me, I will one day see loved ones again.
19. God's provision, yes a place to come and work hard and see my wears.
20. extended family that stand firm with us.
21. the many nurses that care for Regina everyday.
22. the many people that have sat with her, provided a meal or even a HUG.
23. The ability to write this down so I don't keep it in.
24. and following each and every breath that remains in Regina's body.
I have truly been blessed and I knoww you are too. Many don't know it, because they forget to give. Give themselves so we can see our problems are small, when we focus on others. I end with this; as Regina lives out the last few days of her life be thankful and give of yourself.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING and God Bless each of you.
Well, we have seen more days than any nurse at Hospice thought we would and we are Thankful. I am Thankful for...
1. A God who knit me in the womb. making me what I am today.
2. His saving grace that is sufficient everyday as I rely on it.
3. Showing Himself to me that I can know Him personally.
4. protecting my wife, Regina until He prepared our meeting.
5. God giving me the one person that fills every void I have 23-years, 5-months, 1-day ago and counting.
6. four incredible blessings we call; Katie, Madison, Hannah and Harrison
7. the fact that each one has responded and call Jesus--Lord.
8. a free country founded upon Christian principles.
9. men and women who protect those freedoms.
10. a home to live in.
11. a church home that loves serving God.
12. a Pastor that even teaches on the hard issues of the Bible and unashammed.
13. the living and breathing Bible he preaches from, "God's Word" to us.
14. the many people who have loved on, prayed for and cryed with us.
15. a spouse that shows me how to persevere.
16. affliction for without it I could not see my blessing.
17. peace that passes all understanding.
18. "Hope", the hope that assures me, I will one day see loved ones again.
19. God's provision, yes a place to come and work hard and see my wears.
20. extended family that stand firm with us.
21. the many nurses that care for Regina everyday.
22. the many people that have sat with her, provided a meal or even a HUG.
23. The ability to write this down so I don't keep it in.
24. and following each and every breath that remains in Regina's body.
I have truly been blessed and I knoww you are too. Many don't know it, because they forget to give. Give themselves so we can see our problems are small, when we focus on others. I end with this; as Regina lives out the last few days of her life be thankful and give of yourself.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING and God Bless each of you.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Lesson's Learned
First and foremost I'd like to thank all of you for your thoughtful posted comments they are timely and well received. I also want publicly apologize to a reply to a comment that was made as well. You see I didn't agree with the position taken and instead of receiving with the love that it was intended, I took it as on opportunity to "enlighten for fellow Christian" and that was the wrong thing to do. You see God has a way of dealing with us, as we need to be reminded of our own fallible tendencies. None of us is so smart that we are right about everything, don't get me wrong it is absolutly necessary to correct the essentials of Christianity but we should never divide over the nonessentials. Some topics require both sides to keep level heads and keep emotion far removed only dealing in facts. With all this said I do believe Romans 14 to be true.
Updates on Regina are that: she is comfortable, she is now in a hospital type bed in our room, she has lost most of her fine motor skills(so is unable to right). Now don't think this means she can't communicate her face and eyes speak volumes. Here face said it all as the NEHBC praise team come to the house and sang praise and worship songs, we prayed and just had church right there in our bed room. It is something to have a keyboard, two guitars and two extra vocalists in the room all at the same time singing praises to the Lord, with some old hymns and some even more contemporary stuff. We had a blast something the attending nurse will not soon forget. I her Rose, on the phone calling all of her friends telling them how she got to work and come to church and never left the same building. She went on and on about how special Regina must be to all the people that know her, she said, "I'll just have to wait 'til the other side of life to get to know her like these folks know her now..What a Blessing, What a Blessing." Rose now understands why so many come by to see Regina; she touched many lives it's because she reflects Jesus. She put on Christ's love because she too knew that she could offend people some times while in the flesh. It is so wonderful to be a part of a Community that accepts us right where we are and ministers to both saved and the lost.
The other thing that happened this weekend is that our two oldest Katie and Madison went down to te 5th Ward and advertised for the Crisis Pregnancy Center that is housed within the Farrington Mission that God has blessed NEHBC with. Katie has stated that God's calling was brought to her front and center. Her life will forever be changed as she takes this next step in her walk as a Christian. Madison has not said much yet, but it normally takes longer to resinate and then you can start to see changes being made. All of this to say that our children are growing up to know what is means to be mission minded and part of a community of believers.
This is all for know check back soon.
God Bless
Updates on Regina are that: she is comfortable, she is now in a hospital type bed in our room, she has lost most of her fine motor skills(so is unable to right). Now don't think this means she can't communicate her face and eyes speak volumes. Here face said it all as the NEHBC praise team come to the house and sang praise and worship songs, we prayed and just had church right there in our bed room. It is something to have a keyboard, two guitars and two extra vocalists in the room all at the same time singing praises to the Lord, with some old hymns and some even more contemporary stuff. We had a blast something the attending nurse will not soon forget. I her Rose, on the phone calling all of her friends telling them how she got to work and come to church and never left the same building. She went on and on about how special Regina must be to all the people that know her, she said, "I'll just have to wait 'til the other side of life to get to know her like these folks know her now..What a Blessing, What a Blessing." Rose now understands why so many come by to see Regina; she touched many lives it's because she reflects Jesus. She put on Christ's love because she too knew that she could offend people some times while in the flesh. It is so wonderful to be a part of a Community that accepts us right where we are and ministers to both saved and the lost.
The other thing that happened this weekend is that our two oldest Katie and Madison went down to te 5th Ward and advertised for the Crisis Pregnancy Center that is housed within the Farrington Mission that God has blessed NEHBC with. Katie has stated that God's calling was brought to her front and center. Her life will forever be changed as she takes this next step in her walk as a Christian. Madison has not said much yet, but it normally takes longer to resinate and then you can start to see changes being made. All of this to say that our children are growing up to know what is means to be mission minded and part of a community of believers.
This is all for know check back soon.
God Bless
Thursday, November 10, 2011
"WEAK" Five
Today my heart is heavy as I try to work and fight back emotions. Last night I came home from work with a surprise that I thought Regina would enjoy. The problem is, when I walk in the door Katie informs me that Mom has not eaten today and won't let them feed her because she says,"I have already eaten." So, I go into the room to talk to her: ask her about her day, bring in a guest to see her and tell her about the surprise. Her eyes were happy and she seemed in good spirits so I asked why she hadn't eaten yet? She begins to mouth that she has, and I persist that she hasn't. At this point I see the look of confusion on her face, knowing I wouldn't lie to her, and she begins to sob. My consoling calms her and makes me realize that the wife I know and love is starting slip away little by little. Her frail body is starting to give up its fight, as she realizes this is not her home. Yes, we are sad as a family that we will one day, maybe soon, loose Regina on earth. But our hope is in the fact that one day we will be reunited in heaven rejoicing together, at God's awesome plan.
I now recall a time when we were talking about what we would do or ask Christ when we get to heaven. I thought the first thing she would want was to have a conversation with Eve and give her a peice of her mind. Or that she would want to speak to her Nana, her Maternal Grandmother a person to whom she was very much fond of and, if the truth be told, was very much alike. Or, that she would maybe want to talk with another one of her heroes of the Bible, but no not Regina. Her answer gave me perspectve of who she was and were her trust was placed. She said, "For the first thousand years I just want to sit at Jesus' feet and do nothing except thank Him for the nail scars on them." I don't even remember what I said because from that moment those words changed the way I live on this earth. Realizing that one day I will be in heaven and I too want to have the privelige of sitting at Jesus' feet thanking Him for paying the price for my sin.
I love my wife. And I love you, but I don't love you as much as God loves you. You see He sent Jesus to take upon the sins of the world. Yours and mine, that we too could be in heaven with Him someday. He loves you enough to provide the way. You however; must accept His gift by confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart, that Christ was crucified for sin, died for it and was raised from the dead so that he could provide righteousness to you.
Even though Regina's body is weak her faith is stong. She is still "Praying to Live but Prepared to Die" We pray just as Jesus did "for the cup to be taken away, But not our will His will" to be done.
God Bless
Kevin
I now recall a time when we were talking about what we would do or ask Christ when we get to heaven. I thought the first thing she would want was to have a conversation with Eve and give her a peice of her mind. Or that she would want to speak to her Nana, her Maternal Grandmother a person to whom she was very much fond of and, if the truth be told, was very much alike. Or, that she would maybe want to talk with another one of her heroes of the Bible, but no not Regina. Her answer gave me perspectve of who she was and were her trust was placed. She said, "For the first thousand years I just want to sit at Jesus' feet and do nothing except thank Him for the nail scars on them." I don't even remember what I said because from that moment those words changed the way I live on this earth. Realizing that one day I will be in heaven and I too want to have the privelige of sitting at Jesus' feet thanking Him for paying the price for my sin.
I love my wife. And I love you, but I don't love you as much as God loves you. You see He sent Jesus to take upon the sins of the world. Yours and mine, that we too could be in heaven with Him someday. He loves you enough to provide the way. You however; must accept His gift by confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart, that Christ was crucified for sin, died for it and was raised from the dead so that he could provide righteousness to you.
Even though Regina's body is weak her faith is stong. She is still "Praying to Live but Prepared to Die" We pray just as Jesus did "for the cup to be taken away, But not our will His will" to be done.
God Bless
Kevin
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
24 hour nursing care
Wednesday evening about to leave work and go to mid-week worship. I truly enjoy spending time with these people. I have laughed, cryed, prayed, witness, worshipped and learned how to be a true servant of God with these folks. Many of you are commenting on the blog and that is great. Some of you may not be able to come and wish her a happy "Graduation" and I understand, but I promise I will read these comments to here. Regina
is now on 24 hour nursing care to administer medication and allow us to be a family. No it doesn't make things easier, just adds a new challenge. Have you ever tried to sleep in your bed and someone you just met is sitting across the room watching. "I don't sleep very well!" to say the least. What does all this mean people are asking? The fact is Regina's body is indeed declining. She will be with us as long as God allows and not a minute longer. You see we are not giving up on the fact that God may still heal her we believe that HE can. But, just as Jesus did in the garden, "Not my will but your will" You see I want what is the BEST for Regina and so does God. So my prayers have changed a little; now I pray for comfort, peace, contintment and most of all for rest.
AS FAR AS Harrison: he is fine, went back to school today and I am sure he's tired. I am sure he is tired of telling the story of how it happened. Enjoy the pictures. Before surgery and After with pins in place.
is now on 24 hour nursing care to administer medication and allow us to be a family. No it doesn't make things easier, just adds a new challenge. Have you ever tried to sleep in your bed and someone you just met is sitting across the room watching. "I don't sleep very well!" to say the least. What does all this mean people are asking? The fact is Regina's body is indeed declining. She will be with us as long as God allows and not a minute longer. You see we are not giving up on the fact that God may still heal her we believe that HE can. But, just as Jesus did in the garden, "Not my will but your will" You see I want what is the BEST for Regina and so does God. So my prayers have changed a little; now I pray for comfort, peace, contintment and most of all for rest.
AS FAR AS Harrison: he is fine, went back to school today and I am sure he's tired. I am sure he is tired of telling the story of how it happened. Enjoy the pictures. Before surgery and After with pins in place.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Get behind thee
9:00 on a Saturday night sitting in the ER at Texas Childrens Hospital waiting to have surgery for Harrison. It seems as though he fell while trying to hop the fence and instead of doing a face plant he put out historic wrist to break the fall and his head actually hit his forearm and broke it. Compound fracture with bone exit, splint and wrap and ran to the emergency room and then transferred via ambulance to TCH. Katie wants to know when we are going to catch a break and I have to remind her the we are all in a broken world and things happen to us all. We are in our temporary home waiting for or call home. Satan can mess with us but he can never have us and it's play to remind him of his dome. Harrison will be fine, we pray for quick healing without infection and full us of his arm. We do pray that that is God's will.
Regina is doing okay, very weak and in a great deal of pain. Her anxiety is high and the nurses are doing what they can to keep her comfortable.
I'm glad I slept late today I am going to need it.
So I say it get behind thee Satan you have no authority here.
Regina is doing okay, very weak and in a great deal of pain. Her anxiety is high and the nurses are doing what they can to keep her comfortable.
I'm glad I slept late today I am going to need it.
So I say it get behind thee Satan you have no authority here.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
October 26, 2011
Thank you for all of your responses, they help me remember all of the great times and fond memories that I am starting to share with Regina. Keep them coming as you recall them, it truly touches me to see how many lives my wife has touched.
I remember one time sitting out in front of or driving the parking lot of a store that Regina was going to run in and get one quick thing. An hour later I walk in to give her "A piece of my mind" and see her hugging a little old man in his 80's. I asked her, " What was taking so long and who was that?" She started to cry, telling me she was going to report that rude cashier. "What?", I said. Regina then begins to tell me the story, with every sorted detail play-by-play, I'll give the Readers Digest version. The man was purchasing something and the cashier mumbled a price to the man, who either didn't understand him or hear the cashier. To which the cashier said the amount again. Then to put Regina over the top the young man, not schooled in respect, Says L-O-U-D-L-Y and S-L-O-W-L-Y the amount for a third time. Regina said the man just looked at the money in his hand and looked very puzzled at the cashier and the register. Regina had had enough, she informed the young cashier of his rudeness and lack of respect and helped the man count out the amount needed to pay his bill. To make matters worse he didn't have enough, so Regina informed the cashier she would pay the difference. She paid for hers and the rest of his, ran to catch up to the man and asked him if he was alright or needed any help. The man with a tear in his eye said, "Thank you, I don't know why I got so confused, my wife and I would always come here and now that she's gone I have to shop by myself." "I don't like to but I needed to." Regina has a soft spot for the "Seasoned Citizens" she always has. Regina knew every detail of that mans life. She has always been able to make you feel comfortable and safe to share anything. Love that girl. Okay I can't see the screen to type anymore so I'm ending it for know.
God Bless and Love you all!
I remember one time sitting out in front of or driving the parking lot of a store that Regina was going to run in and get one quick thing. An hour later I walk in to give her "A piece of my mind" and see her hugging a little old man in his 80's. I asked her, " What was taking so long and who was that?" She started to cry, telling me she was going to report that rude cashier. "What?", I said. Regina then begins to tell me the story, with every sorted detail play-by-play, I'll give the Readers Digest version. The man was purchasing something and the cashier mumbled a price to the man, who either didn't understand him or hear the cashier. To which the cashier said the amount again. Then to put Regina over the top the young man, not schooled in respect, Says L-O-U-D-L-Y and S-L-O-W-L-Y the amount for a third time. Regina said the man just looked at the money in his hand and looked very puzzled at the cashier and the register. Regina had had enough, she informed the young cashier of his rudeness and lack of respect and helped the man count out the amount needed to pay his bill. To make matters worse he didn't have enough, so Regina informed the cashier she would pay the difference. She paid for hers and the rest of his, ran to catch up to the man and asked him if he was alright or needed any help. The man with a tear in his eye said, "Thank you, I don't know why I got so confused, my wife and I would always come here and now that she's gone I have to shop by myself." "I don't like to but I needed to." Regina has a soft spot for the "Seasoned Citizens" she always has. Regina knew every detail of that mans life. She has always been able to make you feel comfortable and safe to share anything. Love that girl. Okay I can't see the screen to type anymore so I'm ending it for know.
God Bless and Love you all!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Day 14 Hospice Care
I am tired. There is just something unsettling to me having someone in your room, if Regina is having a rough night, or in the next room just an earshot away. You start asking the question: Do I snore? (of course I do but how load is it) Do I talk in my sleep? If so, what do I say? I know they do background checks on these people but...(you'd be thinking the same thing) All ,I can say is that my mind goes ninety miles an hour while trying to go to sleep (if that stuff would go directly to a hard-drive that I could recall I would be incredibly productive) We now only have a nurse at night and this is good because the nights are difficult , its just like when your sick, you don't feel absolutely terrible but at night you feel like you were run over by a freight train.
On a differant note, I have noticed there are a few people starting to follow this blog and yes you are welcome to do so. I would however like for you to comment. I read these to Regina at night sometimes just to see her reaction other times because it's easier to read your feelings once already written. So please comment, it's good for me to know your out there caring and it's good for Regina to know that many care.
Regina is doing about the same visually, though I am noticing that she is very unbalanced and somewhat forgetful. Our prayers have not changed much, we still would love to have the mighty hand of God heal her body and rid it of cancer but just as Jesus stated in the garden we wants best for Regina. So, ultimately we want for God's will in this, therefore God will be glorified either way Regina will be healed either way and God promises as we rejoice in His afflictions we receive endurance, perseverance and hope. Hope that one day according to God's promises we will be reunited in heaven. God grant us grace for your grace is sufficient.
Amen and God Bless The Reader
On a differant note, I have noticed there are a few people starting to follow this blog and yes you are welcome to do so. I would however like for you to comment. I read these to Regina at night sometimes just to see her reaction other times because it's easier to read your feelings once already written. So please comment, it's good for me to know your out there caring and it's good for Regina to know that many care.
Regina is doing about the same visually, though I am noticing that she is very unbalanced and somewhat forgetful. Our prayers have not changed much, we still would love to have the mighty hand of God heal her body and rid it of cancer but just as Jesus stated in the garden we wants best for Regina. So, ultimately we want for God's will in this, therefore God will be glorified either way Regina will be healed either way and God promises as we rejoice in His afflictions we receive endurance, perseverance and hope. Hope that one day according to God's promises we will be reunited in heaven. God grant us grace for your grace is sufficient.
Amen and God Bless The Reader
Monday, October 17, 2011
Oh how He loves us
Looking back 29 years ago this week, after I stalked a girl in a friends yearbook (this is what the kids say anyway), I called my future wife to be for the first time to ask her out.
It all happened something like this. Yes, I did see Regina's picture in his yearbook while at his house. He was on the phone with his girlfriend and I was consuming a beverage. I asked if he knew her, he said yes, I said get me her phone number, I want to ask her out. It took it took my friend weeks of asking and asking for her phone number before he finally produced it, maybe it was because I told him he would be sweeping nails and screws up for the next ten weeks if he didn't. We were working at Sutherland's Lumber Company and I was being groomed to into management training and Jay would be too someday, maybe, if he could graduate. I was still new to the area didn't know lots of people, because we had just moved to Texas only four months ago. Most of the people I was meeting at the appetiser bar during "Happy Hour", usually not marriage material, 'mind you this was BC. So, once I got the phone number, I now have to get the nerve up to call her, I pick up the phone several times and just can't dial. But, finally God must have nudged my fingers to make that call. I had arranged for Jay and his girlfriend to come on a double date with us on the 29th of October, but I couldn't wait that long I asked for to get something to eat after the Conroe vs. McCullough (The Woodlands High now). She was in the band, first flute but she played the piccolo for marching band. I had the advantage because she didn't know what I looked like, lucky for me. I saw her, and will never forget how when she smiled her eyes would light up and you couldn't turn away they just drew you in, much like I imagine know that Jesus' eyes would draw people to Him. Regina was saved, I could see in her eyes the love that only Jesus gives. I was exposed and wanting, but unwilling to surrender. I know 29 years ago as I just sat and starred at her as she talked she thought I was a freak. That's right October 22, 1982, sitting in the JoJo's Restaurant on I-45 and FM1960, was our first date.
Today, I see the plan that God put in place and I wonder why would He might let it end? Why does He need her so bad and leave my heart breaking? Why am I to be left to raise the kids without the very person that, because our love we were blessed with them? And then I remember God's promises, though they sound unbelievable to some, they are a stumbling block for many, and they are counter cultural to the rest of the world. "That He is God and I am not" Yes, I would miss here if ..., but if God chooses to have her, than He can because she belongs to Him. I am thankful for the woman she has become, a true reflection of Christ: Never has she met a stranger, never has she not had the time to listen to your pains, never has she been unwilling to help. No, not perfect, by any means, she can find just the right buttons to push to get me in an uproar, but we will always make-up before we go to sleep. Our relationship is different to most but it is her constant prod that has helped grow me into me. Christ has done and continues to do such great work in our lives. I look forward to the minutes, days maybe even years that I have to serve Him with Regina by my side.
Wrapping up for now just wanted you to know this journey started some 40+ years ago when God formed us in each of our mothers wombs, that he would orchestrate or meeting, our lives and yes even our departure. Regina has been doing very well these past few days with lots of visitors. She is still fighting to live as many days as she can and I pray that God gives here enough good ones to have meaningful conversations with her kids and yes even me. I LOVE HER so much, and would trade and take this from her, but it is not my place, but I will serve her as Christ commands in his word whatever her need.
God Bless
It all happened something like this. Yes, I did see Regina's picture in his yearbook while at his house. He was on the phone with his girlfriend and I was consuming a beverage. I asked if he knew her, he said yes, I said get me her phone number, I want to ask her out. It took it took my friend weeks of asking and asking for her phone number before he finally produced it, maybe it was because I told him he would be sweeping nails and screws up for the next ten weeks if he didn't. We were working at Sutherland's Lumber Company and I was being groomed to into management training and Jay would be too someday, maybe, if he could graduate. I was still new to the area didn't know lots of people, because we had just moved to Texas only four months ago. Most of the people I was meeting at the appetiser bar during "Happy Hour", usually not marriage material, 'mind you this was BC. So, once I got the phone number, I now have to get the nerve up to call her, I pick up the phone several times and just can't dial. But, finally God must have nudged my fingers to make that call. I had arranged for Jay and his girlfriend to come on a double date with us on the 29th of October, but I couldn't wait that long I asked for to get something to eat after the Conroe vs. McCullough (The Woodlands High now). She was in the band, first flute but she played the piccolo for marching band. I had the advantage because she didn't know what I looked like, lucky for me. I saw her, and will never forget how when she smiled her eyes would light up and you couldn't turn away they just drew you in, much like I imagine know that Jesus' eyes would draw people to Him. Regina was saved, I could see in her eyes the love that only Jesus gives. I was exposed and wanting, but unwilling to surrender. I know 29 years ago as I just sat and starred at her as she talked she thought I was a freak. That's right October 22, 1982, sitting in the JoJo's Restaurant on I-45 and FM1960, was our first date.
Today, I see the plan that God put in place and I wonder why would He might let it end? Why does He need her so bad and leave my heart breaking? Why am I to be left to raise the kids without the very person that, because our love we were blessed with them? And then I remember God's promises, though they sound unbelievable to some, they are a stumbling block for many, and they are counter cultural to the rest of the world. "That He is God and I am not" Yes, I would miss here if ..., but if God chooses to have her, than He can because she belongs to Him. I am thankful for the woman she has become, a true reflection of Christ: Never has she met a stranger, never has she not had the time to listen to your pains, never has she been unwilling to help. No, not perfect, by any means, she can find just the right buttons to push to get me in an uproar, but we will always make-up before we go to sleep. Our relationship is different to most but it is her constant prod that has helped grow me into me. Christ has done and continues to do such great work in our lives. I look forward to the minutes, days maybe even years that I have to serve Him with Regina by my side.
Wrapping up for now just wanted you to know this journey started some 40+ years ago when God formed us in each of our mothers wombs, that he would orchestrate or meeting, our lives and yes even our departure. Regina has been doing very well these past few days with lots of visitors. She is still fighting to live as many days as she can and I pray that God gives here enough good ones to have meaningful conversations with her kids and yes even me. I LOVE HER so much, and would trade and take this from her, but it is not my place, but I will serve her as Christ commands in his word whatever her need.
God Bless
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Graduation Day coming soon
To live a life worthy of graduating is an honor one we should never take lightly, for it is only by God's sheer grace that we are allowed to do this. For we are all on the path of condemnation, because we live in this fallen world, fallen from sin that was brought into it by man. Fallen yes but the Good News is that God provided a way out through His Son, Jesus Christ, that if we we would confess with our mouth that He is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised Him from the dead we would be saved. Is there anything holding you back from making Jesus the Lord of your life? Then why don't you confess it to Him. Enroll in "school", start going tho "class" then one day you can "graduate.
I use this term because today when I was discussing with the children about Regina this is the term Hannah used to explain death. Today was a very difficult day in the Carlton household as it is the day that I chose to tell all of the Kid's about Mommy. I asked them what was wrong with mommy? What did she have? Do people die from cancer? Do they understand that God loves mommy very much? What happens to people that...? This is when Hannah in her nine year old wisdom says "they graduate". So that's when I told them all Mommy's about to "Graduate". This is when Katie started to loose it followed by each in age order. "But I don't want to loose mommy." "I won't have anyone to talk to after school." "I'm scared." All the emotions you would expect. I assured them that they would see mommy again in heaven and that she will always hold a place in their hearts. I told them all of this only a couple hours removed of being told by the Hospice nurse that your wife has begun the "staging process". This is what they refer to as, yes that's right I thought we were looking until late December early January.
They are saying 2-days to 2-weeks, I have no idea. To look at her today you would never guess. This was however, after I had asked her to let me know anything special she wanted each of the kids to have remember her by. And to please prepare a few words for me to tell them before any milestone events ie: graduation or weddings. These are things we forget to tell or children on a daily basis, I guess because we believe we'll always have time. You don't... you are not promised your next breath, if your life is out of God's will see above or look at earlier posts. Give your life to Christ make him Lord of your life. Amen.
Going to bed Good Night and God Bless!
I use this term because today when I was discussing with the children about Regina this is the term Hannah used to explain death. Today was a very difficult day in the Carlton household as it is the day that I chose to tell all of the Kid's about Mommy. I asked them what was wrong with mommy? What did she have? Do people die from cancer? Do they understand that God loves mommy very much? What happens to people that...? This is when Hannah in her nine year old wisdom says "they graduate". So that's when I told them all Mommy's about to "Graduate". This is when Katie started to loose it followed by each in age order. "But I don't want to loose mommy." "I won't have anyone to talk to after school." "I'm scared." All the emotions you would expect. I assured them that they would see mommy again in heaven and that she will always hold a place in their hearts. I told them all of this only a couple hours removed of being told by the Hospice nurse that your wife has begun the "staging process". This is what they refer to as, yes that's right I thought we were looking until late December early January.
They are saying 2-days to 2-weeks, I have no idea. To look at her today you would never guess. This was however, after I had asked her to let me know anything special she wanted each of the kids to have remember her by. And to please prepare a few words for me to tell them before any milestone events ie: graduation or weddings. These are things we forget to tell or children on a daily basis, I guess because we believe we'll always have time. You don't... you are not promised your next breath, if your life is out of God's will see above or look at earlier posts. Give your life to Christ make him Lord of your life. Amen.
Going to bed Good Night and God Bless!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
New Path
Sometimes in life you don't know the answer and sometimes you don't want to here the answer, but trust there is always an answer. The same goes for prayer:,we pray to God often with our prayers and He answers. Yes He answers not always the answer we want so we keep praying(thinking maybe I didn't ask right or I just need more faith in what I am praying for) for God to answer our prayers. Prayer is for us to communicate with God our Creator, it not like Santa Claus, its not to be about our wish list but His (the Creator's) wish list. The fact that he wants us to live every moment choosing God, rather than not God. It's a time, no doubt, that we bring our petitions to the Lord, but not seeking our will to be done but His will to be done. Prayer is an opportunity for us to grow into what God desires for us. We pray for Regina's complete healing even still.
This leads me to tell everyone who reads this that the Doctors at MD Anderson have told us that there is nothing else left for them to do, they cannot treat the tumor aggressively with a trach in place, meaning no more Chemo, no more Radiation and no more Surgery. With this now the situation we have decided that it is best for Regina to come home, to help us through we have called in Hospice Care to help. Understand that Hospice is here now to help care for Regina's comfort not hurry in natural process along. Also, understand that we still believe that God can choose to heal Regina. But whether God chooses to heal her here or in heaven she will be healed and our prayers have been answered. We have always asked for God's will to be done, and it has not always the way we pictured but still it's His will. I'll write more when I can. Have to go for now.
God Bless
This leads me to tell everyone who reads this that the Doctors at MD Anderson have told us that there is nothing else left for them to do, they cannot treat the tumor aggressively with a trach in place, meaning no more Chemo, no more Radiation and no more Surgery. With this now the situation we have decided that it is best for Regina to come home, to help us through we have called in Hospice Care to help. Understand that Hospice is here now to help care for Regina's comfort not hurry in natural process along. Also, understand that we still believe that God can choose to heal Regina. But whether God chooses to heal her here or in heaven she will be healed and our prayers have been answered. We have always asked for God's will to be done, and it has not always the way we pictured but still it's His will. I'll write more when I can. Have to go for now.
God Bless
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Sunday
Worshipped today at NEHBC with my church family, I really love them and miss them when I am away. Thank you for all that you do and the encouragement that we receive from each of you. Regina is resting well if all keeps progressing she may escape on Tuesday, a day early. The swelling has gone down after steroid and antibiotic's, but no explanation as to where the infection is for sure or what type it was or even the cause. May never know for sure, Regina doesn't care she just wants to get well enough the get out of here. Had visitors today seemed to really brighten her day, thanks for coming I know it isn't easy or convenient to come downtown, so thank you. Tired and am going to get some rest. TTYL and God Bless.
Friday, October 7, 2011
We are staying
We are going to have the Trach put in to allow Regina to be able to breath easier. She will be here for a week until they can place the more permanent type. This will require some home care which I think they are arranging. TTYL and God Bless
pray for the la
1:40 been at MD Anderson for a few hours. Looks like we are going to be here for a few days to do a couple of procedures. It seems that The white bood cell counts are up along with the glucose levels. This would normally mean an infection, but I'm not sure at this point. Looks as though the tongue has swollen due to abcess or tumor growth but it is obstructing the airway making it difficult to breath. They are saying "trach", and surgery lots of work and care at home maybe bringing in hospice for assistance. Just pray for the wisdom to do what's best for Regina. Also, use this or text me 281-808-3972 for communication cell phones are spotty at best as is continuous internet. I'll post in a couple of hours to let you know the latest.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Today Thursday
Just arrived back home after what was supposed to be a really long day of Chemotherapy for Regina. Not sure exactly what's wrong but it concerned the Doctor enough to postpone the treatment until next Thursday. The blood-work came back with a much higher white blood count and a trough the roof glucose of 380, the two of these together may equal the start of an infection and the Doctor didn't want to start chemo if she was at the beginning of something, he wanted to error on the side of caution rather than full steam ahead. Her tongue is swollen and the tumor seems to be vary hard making it very difficult to breath. She is resting and I'll let you know more as I know more.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Yesterday's Pity Party
Okay so I was evidently pretty tired yesterday and didn't sound very positive. I never want anyone to have any doubt in the fact that I know God can choose to heal Regina at anytime, in fact she may live longer than some of us. Fact is the Doctors have run out of options, God never does. I can tell you though it is unnatural for a household to run without a teammate. If you are a single mom or dad reading this I feel for you, especially if you have more than two kids. It was one thing to hear all the time, "Dad, I need ..." I could say go ask your mother now I don't want to burden her. So, here is my solution, I know many of you will be saying "Duhhh" but I need to start taking care of myself better. The reason I'm tired is because I am out of shape, don't have energy to work out b/c I am overweight. Solution: I vow to eat healthier and to get to the gym three times a week.
Yes, I will need you to keep me accountable b/c I lack the will power right now to focus on me since most of that is focused on Regina. I told you sometimes this would be boring.
Yes, I will need you to keep me accountable b/c I lack the will power right now to focus on me since most of that is focused on Regina. I told you sometimes this would be boring.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
All's Well
Regina has now had the port placed and she did very well. They say do nothing until morning and nothing strenuous for the next three days. We will start this round of Chemotherapy on Thursday, this is going to be Custer's last stand for her, pray that it works. They posted the results from the radiologist on Regina's scan and the cancer has grown considerably, unfortunately and her lungs still show much scarring from the pneumonia. Just pray this works and if it doesn't pray we keep her healthy. Love you so much. God will be Glorified by your prayer and praise. Thank you God you can still use me while I'm hurting.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Cardboard Testimonies
Yesterday at church we did "cardboard testimonies" these are very powerful and a great blessing to all that view. If you aren't familiar with them go to youtube and search or go to google and search "nehbc" and three years ago is there. My favorite one from yesterday was on one side "Father was abusive and alcoholic" turned it over "Led my Father to the Lord w/ date", how awesome would it be to see your unsaved father saved so you know one day you'll see him again. Once this hits the airways I'll post the link for yesterday's.
Tomorrow go and have the procedure done to place the port at St. Luke's. Had very meaningful conversation with Regina this week about some of the possible inevitability's. It was the first time in a few month's that we have been able to pray together without her cutting me off because she didn't want to speak of anything negative. Let me tell you there is nothing negative about dying if you are a child of God. Remember that death has no sting, that once you are absent from this body you are present with the Lord, and He will say, "Welcome HOME good and faithful servant." This place we live today is only our temporary home. What are you invested in here or eternity? I'm ready to go whenever He sees fit but until that time, I'm at work here to tell others about there. It is simple we are all enemies of God because of our sin, condemned under the wrath of God. But God's will is that none would perish and come to repentance. That is we turn from sin and self, acknowledging sin as sin (agreeing with God), and turning toward God. If we confess or sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) The great thing is I can now be called a friend of God(John 15:14).
I don't know where that all came from like I said I just start typing, Katie says I should at least have someone proof it before I post. I said no I want it raw. But I will spell check.
Tomorrow go and have the procedure done to place the port at St. Luke's. Had very meaningful conversation with Regina this week about some of the possible inevitability's. It was the first time in a few month's that we have been able to pray together without her cutting me off because she didn't want to speak of anything negative. Let me tell you there is nothing negative about dying if you are a child of God. Remember that death has no sting, that once you are absent from this body you are present with the Lord, and He will say, "Welcome HOME good and faithful servant." This place we live today is only our temporary home. What are you invested in here or eternity? I'm ready to go whenever He sees fit but until that time, I'm at work here to tell others about there. It is simple we are all enemies of God because of our sin, condemned under the wrath of God. But God's will is that none would perish and come to repentance. That is we turn from sin and self, acknowledging sin as sin (agreeing with God), and turning toward God. If we confess or sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) The great thing is I can now be called a friend of God(John 15:14).
I don't know where that all came from like I said I just start typing, Katie says I should at least have someone proof it before I post. I said no I want it raw. But I will spell check.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thanks
Response has been good so this is going to be my new transparency outlet. Sometimes things may seem abit raw they may even seem somewhat preachy at times, but rest assured I will be speaking (writing) from my heart. I know many of you have tried to make plans to come visit Regina and; just didn't want to disturb her, you don't know if it's a good day or not or maybe you've been busy. I understand all of the reason's but if you can find time these next few weeks she will need plenty of people coming by to check on her. I don't really want to leave her alone but I must work to keep what we have intact. She is suffering with some anxiety issues and is having bouts of loneliness. I know some have come over to talk, or pray, or just lay on the bed and watch TV with her. Would love it if more of this happened from those that care about her.
This is the near future schedule as I know it. Tuesday- Early to St. Luke's Woodlands to place the port hopefully home by 2pm then I need to go to the office. Thursday- to MD Anderson at 7:30 for blood work, doctor and Big Gun Chemo., this will be all day and then some. She will then carry around the 5FU chemo around until Monday or Tuesday. That day she needs to return to MD Anderson Woodlands and get a shot. I really could use someone to take her that day, so I don't loose another day.
If you are reading this and have never accepted Christ as your personal savior, then it's not a coincidence for you to be reading this right now. God has ordained this very moment to tell you how much he loves you. Yes, He hates your sin and mine (Romans 3:23) but he LOVES you and me. That's why He humbled himself to take on the flesh of man (Philippians 2:5-11) and do what we could not do for ourselves (live a life unblemished and pay for ALL sin) yes he died for you and he died for ALL (Luke 13:3) who will believe on his name- JESUS( John 14:6). No you can't earn it, you can't buy it God gives grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) in Jesus. I would love to talk to you more if you will contact me kevin.carlton82@gmail.com I can get you some literature to explain things even better. I am praying for you right now as I right this and for when you read it the Holy Spirit will begin to do a work in you than can finally put you at peace with God and your own life (Romans 5:1).
In everything we must live for there is no guarantee for tomorrow.
This is the near future schedule as I know it. Tuesday- Early to St. Luke's Woodlands to place the port hopefully home by 2pm then I need to go to the office. Thursday- to MD Anderson at 7:30 for blood work, doctor and Big Gun Chemo., this will be all day and then some. She will then carry around the 5FU chemo around until Monday or Tuesday. That day she needs to return to MD Anderson Woodlands and get a shot. I really could use someone to take her that day, so I don't loose another day.
If you are reading this and have never accepted Christ as your personal savior, then it's not a coincidence for you to be reading this right now. God has ordained this very moment to tell you how much he loves you. Yes, He hates your sin and mine (Romans 3:23) but he LOVES you and me. That's why He humbled himself to take on the flesh of man (Philippians 2:5-11) and do what we could not do for ourselves (live a life unblemished and pay for ALL sin) yes he died for you and he died for ALL (Luke 13:3) who will believe on his name- JESUS( John 14:6). No you can't earn it, you can't buy it God gives grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) in Jesus. I would love to talk to you more if you will contact me kevin.carlton82@gmail.com I can get you some literature to explain things even better. I am praying for you right now as I right this and for when you read it the Holy Spirit will begin to do a work in you than can finally put you at peace with God and your own life (Romans 5:1).
In everything we must live for there is no guarantee for tomorrow.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Day 1
Yesterday we found out that Regina's tumor is not responding to the current chemotherapy that has been perscribed by her Doctor, in fact the scan has shown some growth. This was not well received news as you could imagine, but as Regina stated to the Doctor it doesn't mean we have to give up, "I still want to fight this thing!", she said. We are not giving up there are two options another round of the "Big Guns" Chemotherapy of test drugs. Regina has choosen the Big Gun therapy for now. This means we have to go and get a port put in again to allow for the long doses that the (Taxotere, Cisplatin and Flourouracil) require. We are in agreement around our house that "CANCER SUCKS", yes I am aware that I may offend some by that statement but it is just as close to the truth as we can get. Somehow, inhales with great force, is just too many words and doesn't quite have the same emphatic tone. BUT more importantly we are all in agreement that "God is God and we are not", "That God is still on the throne and very much in control". In fact this has come as no surprise to Him. Even though we may not understand meaning for the things God does, our job is to do a Romans 5:3-5 and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that the suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope... in order to perservere you must train for battle. We now know why we have been sifted for the past few years, it was to get us ready to edure this and have the character that gives us and others hope in Jesus' love for us.
I say this knowing it's not, and hasn't, been easy. But God's grace has always been sufficent, and God's people have ministered to us in ways beyond measure. We still believe that God can choose to heal her here on earth or in heaven for all eternity, whichever He decides. Waiting on this does not change the fact that we praise Him while we are waiting. We look forward to the opportunities that we get to share our Faith in Jesus Christ to others. We still covet all of your prayers as they are needed and felt. Speciffically pray for the wisdom of the doctors, to know what to do and haw to procede. Pray for me that God give me the wisdom to choose what is best for Regina. Pray for the family as this raises many questions and affects all parts of their lives. Pray for Regina as she needs to remain hopeful and seek God's will. Finally, pray for peace, the kind found in Philippians. God Bless. Until next time.
I say this knowing it's not, and hasn't, been easy. But God's grace has always been sufficent, and God's people have ministered to us in ways beyond measure. We still believe that God can choose to heal her here on earth or in heaven for all eternity, whichever He decides. Waiting on this does not change the fact that we praise Him while we are waiting. We look forward to the opportunities that we get to share our Faith in Jesus Christ to others. We still covet all of your prayers as they are needed and felt. Speciffically pray for the wisdom of the doctors, to know what to do and haw to procede. Pray for me that God give me the wisdom to choose what is best for Regina. Pray for the family as this raises many questions and affects all parts of their lives. Pray for Regina as she needs to remain hopeful and seek God's will. Finally, pray for peace, the kind found in Philippians. God Bless. Until next time.
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