"WEAK" Five

Today my heart is heavy as I try to work and fight back emotions. Last night I came home from work with a surprise that I thought Regina would enjoy. The problem is, when I walk in the door Katie informs me that Mom has not eaten today and won't let them feed her because she says,"I have already eaten." So, I go into the room to talk to her: ask her about her day, bring in a guest to see her and tell her about the surprise. Her eyes were happy and she seemed in good spirits so I asked why she hadn't eaten yet? She begins to mouth that she has, and I persist that she hasn't. At this point I see the look of confusion on her face, knowing I wouldn't lie to her, and she begins to sob. My consoling calms her and makes me realize that the wife I know and love is starting slip away little by little. Her frail body is starting to give up its fight, as she realizes this is not her home. Yes, we are sad as a family that we will one day, maybe soon, loose Regina on earth. But our hope is in the fact that one day we will be reunited in heaven rejoicing together, at God's awesome plan.

I now recall a time when we were talking about what we would do or ask Christ when we get to heaven. I thought the first thing she would want was to have a conversation with Eve and give her a peice of her mind. Or that she would want to speak to her Nana, her Maternal Grandmother a person to whom she was very much fond of and, if the truth be told, was very much alike. Or, that she would maybe want to talk with another one of her heroes of the Bible, but no not Regina. Her answer gave me perspectve of who she was and were her trust was placed. She said, "For the first thousand years I just want to sit at Jesus' feet and do nothing except thank Him for the nail scars on them." I don't even remember what I said because from that moment those words changed the way I live on this earth. Realizing that one day I will be in heaven and I too want to have the privelige of sitting at Jesus' feet thanking Him for paying the price for my sin.

I love my wife. And I love you, but I don't love you as much as God loves you. You see He sent Jesus to take upon the sins of the world. Yours and mine, that we too could be in heaven with Him someday. He loves you enough to provide the way. You however; must accept His gift by confessing with your mouth and believing in your heart, that Christ was crucified for sin, died for it and was raised from the dead so that he could provide righteousness to you.

Even though Regina's body is weak her faith is stong. She is still "Praying to Live but Prepared to Die" We pray just as Jesus did "for the cup to be taken away, But not our will His will" to be done.

God Bless

Kevin