Today, April 2, 48 years ago about right now my mother was both exhausted and extremely happy at the birth of her first child. I look back on the times I never told her that I loved her how much she taught me, developed me, and yes even making me into the man I am today. Had it not been for my mother I would not have even seen the inside of a church, exposing me to religion not relationship...yet, giving me something to at least look back to when coming face-to-face with the reality of Jesus Christ. My father impacted my life as well on how to work hard, to use my hands and my mind at the same time and to have the confidence to do what I set my mind to doing. Another influential person in my life, that I am thankful God put there is Mike Thompson, Mike challenged me not to just look and say I was a Christian but to know why and to be able to give people an answer to why you believe in Christ. He caused me to study the Bible to answer the many questions he would ask me, always seeming to put me on the spot, and the way he looked at you always made you think, "Did I answer that correctly?" Today, I am still learning and many in my life continue to challenge me to know God more intimately. I just pray that I am returning the favor for all those that invested in me. Thank you to all those that invest in the lives of others.
I already mentioned that today is my birthday and it is one of those days that I usually shared with Regina. We would go to dinner maybe a movie or just coffee, it didn't matter what we did we just did it together. The reminder that she is not here causes loneliness that I can't put into words, words don't even explain what I am feeling. This would have been the 30th birthday shared together, but I am learning to be content with the 29 we had together. I don't want to rush this process or God, but I don't like being alone. It's not how I was designed by God, any of us for that matter. I find my strength in Christ of course, but there is nothing like hearing an audible voice that affirms you. Telling you, you are doing a great job her or there. Reminding you, though you are beautifully and wonderfully made that God's not done with you yet. Someone that thanks you for going to work and taking care of the family. These are things I unfortunatly often took for granted not realizing that one day I would do it on my own, without my companion. Yes, I wake up in the morning trying to find strength in Christ alone, but it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to bare. I will make it through this day, this week, this year and even this life with or without another helpmate, only because of Christ. How could you without Him I could not imagine!!!
How do I wrap this up on a positive? Like this; Pray that God continue to heal my heart, Pray that God will bring it to your mind when you feel others need an encouraging word (THANKS TAMMY IT WAS TIMELY), Pray that God prepares me for whatever the future is. Don't forget to thank those in your life that have had an impact. And finally, just remember you can't catch widow/widower status, it just happens. Love to all.
Blessings
Kevin
