Pray More

This next week may be some what of a challenge with kids home and no real event to keep their minds from focusing on the fact that Regina is not sharing these times here with us. This is actually healthy I know, but still painful. So,I am asking that you pray maybe one extra prayer that; they work through their grief not blaming God, themselves, or each other. That God continues to give us the grace to bring us all through this. And as we feel sad that that draw us close to Christ and His word. Pray that our devotionals start back-up with consistency and no distractions.

I want to thank any and all that had any hand in making CHRISTmas special for our family even in the midst of sadness. May God bless you and hold you close to Himself. We were blessed beyond anything I could have imagined, the kids all have at least three new outfits to start back to school with. at least one toy.

That's all for today.

God Bless

Lonely and Relying on God

Lonely, yes last night was the first time I spent the night alone in the house realizing this is what it will be like once the kids are gone, then reality struck me and that won't be anytime soon. It will be at least a decade before this house is an empty nest. I have no idea what God has planned for my life in the future all I can live for, is now. I have been told to take those moments, when I'm alone, and seize them for what they are; a time to reflect or speak to God. Don't think I gave Him that chance since all I could do was think of who to call or text so I didn't feel so alone. I know the kids are having fun with there cousins as I sit and feel sorry for myself. I didn't even realize last night the mess the house is in, I'm glad I fell asleep before anyone responded to my text, looks like a bomb went off. So, after I get finished writing I'll get up and clean. Near as I can tell I fell asleep about 8:30 last night problem is that means my body alarm went off at 3:30 this am, never to return to sleep. For the past five hours I watched two movies, read my Bible (not to worry it was light reading in Revelation) and sobbed like a baby b/c I miss Regina so much, I guess God finally got the time He wanted. Everyone tells me it will get better each day and I do believe that is true but part of me has been torn out. I can live without my gall bladder they tell me, (they want to take that out now, more on that below) but not your heart. How can you live without your heart? Regina was my heart she was the vessel that God used to make me a better man. I didn't say a good man but I was better because when I let her down I let Christ down, and I wanted to do neither. Many didn't understand how truly fragile Regina was because her boldness and the need for shock value always was shown first. But she was no different than you and me got her feelings hurt, she felt inadequate at times and even feared failure. Because we believed God put us together we knew we completed each other in the Lord. Fact is she embolden me to be all I can be in Christ.

I mentioned earlier that they want my gall bladder, here's the story. Months ago had chest pains and went to the hospital. Did the stress test and everything all clear, yes they said I need to loose some weight. I was still having problems, went to regular Dr again and he ordered a liver scan had a follow-up appointment when Regina went in the hospital in October. Completely forgot until they called and said I needed to come in. I did and they reran blood work with the same results confirming what the scan found. I have some meds to help the attacks until it is removed.

That's it for now. God Bless and Merry Christmas.

Grieving Widower

It has almost two weeks since Regina's homecoming and four days since we "Celebrated" that day together. Those of you that came thank you for your support. Those of you that couldn't make it I am sorry you missed it. I personally have never been to a service that every part was moving; From the slideshow, the music, the prayer, the Eulogies, the special tribute song, all the way through to the message that was delivered. I was so proud of my daughter who delivered an excellant picture of Regina. Many people that attended never knew Regina not sick, they all have told me how much they wish they could have been friends with her. I was amazed at the amount of people in attendance (people were standing in the back) another proof that we can all touch many lives as we invest in others. I am going to try to see if I can post the tribute. Let you know.

Regina is sorely missed already as she has left a huge void in our lives. But, I can tell you that it is one day at a time, with certain things triggering those memories that bring you sadness knowing that they are not here. I woke up the other night, still half asleep, and was looking for Regina on the empty side of the bed, only to realize that she won't be sleeping there. Remember this my wife did not loose her battle with cancer, as the Pastor said in better words than I've heard from another, "Regina never tasted death, the only reason she even realized she was dead is because she was face-to-face with Jesus." Christians should find great comfort in this fact. It is unnatural for me to be a "widower" it is not right for the kids to be without a Mom. Am I ad at God for this? No way He is not the authur of death, that's Satan's gig. God's will is for us to have life, abundant life unfortunatly sickness and death entered into the world with the fall of Adam and Eve.

Eternal life is still available to us through Jesus. This time of year we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Though we celebrate it that is only the start of His story. You see He came was subjected to all of the pain from loss and the temptations of life but, He did not waiver. After living a perfect life He layed it down as a sacrifice for ALL of our sins. And if we admit it, believe it and confess it we will never taste the sting of death either. It's not to late for you---yet??? What is holding you back???

Until we meet again Regina, I love you.

Below in bold type is what my daughter wrote on facebook. Please come and join us for a great time of reflection. I am truly blessed to have such great Family, Friends and FAMILY (like minded believers. I have not blogged in a while not because I didn't have plenty to say, I did, but because there are times in your life that you must look deep inside yourself and find your direction. I have been in full survivor mode that I have lost myself within myself. I won't try to explain any further other than I was so focused on my situation that I spent little time on making myself better. I know what your thinking: Of course that's what caretakers do. Well I am here to tell you, There is a new "sheriff in town", okay not really but it time to focus some effort into resurrecting the heathier side of me. So, as you see me... "and ask me how I'm doing" be sure and ask me "how my walk is" or "how my health is". I need to keep my mind right and get this temporary body back in shape in order to last however long I have left here. Now that Regina is gone to be with our Beloved Jesus, I am left here to hold it all together. I will have much support I know but most of you won't be there at 3am when I wake up and realize my wife is no longer lying next to me, as she has for the past 23 years 5 months and 17 days of our marriage. I have stated before that Regina completed me. She made me who I am, I would have never taught a Bible Study Class unless she had encouraged me to do. I would never have persued sales over management had she not told me how gifted I was. And as I read this morning on a blog ( www.wherefaithis.blogspot.com ) I would never have been challenged to know God but for God putting her in my life. Again Please come join us this Saturday as we Celebrate the Life of my wife, Regina.

God Bless


MY MOM'S CELEBRATION OF LIFE!!!!!

All,

The arrangements for the CELEBRATION OF LIFE of Regina Carlton have been set. Details are below:
... ...
Date: Saturday, December 17TH
Time: 11:00 am
Location: Northeast Houston Baptist Church

**EVERYONE WHO ATTENDS IS ENCOURAGED TO WEAR BRIGHT COLORS AS THIS WAS MY MOTHER'S WISHES
THIS WILL BE A FESTIVE AND JOYOUS OCCASION**

She will be cremated so there will not be a viewing or visitation on Friday night. There will also not be a graveside service on Saturday.

In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that donations be given to Farrington Mission that is owned and operated by the Northeast Houston Community Center, www.farringtonmission.org. Checks can be made out to “Northeast Houston Community Center” and mailed to the following address:

Northeast Houston Baptist ChurcH Community Center
c/o Northeast Houston Baptist Church
18000 West Lake Houston Parkway
Humble, Texas 77346

In Christ

Tim Tebow

Great for our time. It is not often you here people thank Jesus for there life, on public TV. But Tim does and he takes a great deal of flake for doing so. Jake Plummer asked him to tone it down and when asked Tim's response was great. He said and I paraphrase, if you were married is it enough to tell your spouse just once you love her? By no means, you tell her everyday and often many times a day. Jesus is the most important thing in my life and anytime I get the opportunity to tell Him I love him, that's what I'm going to do.

Yeah Tim and God Bless you.

I'll be home for Christmas

I heard this song on the radio the other day and thought about Regina. It's hard to be sad knowing how, I would love for all believers to be home for Christmas. Another song comes to mind sung by Mercy Me written by Bart Marshall Millard, I give both credit b/c I am going to quote some of the lyrics.

I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see when Your face is before me
Surrounded by Your glory what will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus? Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing, Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine when that day comes and I find myself standing in the sun I can only imagine when all I will do is forever, forever worship You.

I believe Regina will be in awe and as I stated from a conversation before this song was written that she wants to just sit at the feet of Jesus for the first thousand years. I am also sure she will sing Hallelujah because she loves to sing and forever worship Jesus. Man what a day that will be for her. Not too long ago before Regina was not communicating she wrote on her board to me, "I am ready to go home. To my new home where cancer doesn't exist, no pain, no sorrow, no tears." I kept talking to her and I reminded her this is not our home, yes Jesus went and has prepared a new home and that where I am you may be also. Regina will be face to face on that day she is finally called. Regina is strong but her body is week. She is comfortable and unless God's mighty hand touches her soon He will be bringing her home within a few days. So, yes she will BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

Oh how I love her and am missing her already. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I want every person she has ever known to be able to say "see ya later" on that day. So, if you are still trying to decide what you are going to do about this "Jesus" you have heard about. Ask me how to have that relationship it's not too late for you until you breath that last breath. When will that be, and are you sure you have that long???

On a personal note as things go I am having a medical procedure done today at 3:00pm, they are going to remove more tissue from a mole that was on my face, for as long as I can remember, removed it on the 18th and came back positive as Melanoma. Only in our current situation am I be the least bit concerned. So pray they get it all and there is no need to do anything else.

Thank you and may God Bless you all.