Today, April 2, 48 years ago about right now my mother was both exhausted and extremely happy at the birth of her first child. I look back on the times I never told her that I loved her how much she taught me, developed me, and yes even making me into the man I am today. Had it not been for my mother I would not have even seen the inside of a church, exposing me to religion not relationship...yet, giving me something to at least look back to when coming face-to-face with the reality of Jesus Christ. My father impacted my life as well on how to work hard, to use my hands and my mind at the same time and to have the confidence to do what I set my mind to doing. Another influential person in my life, that I am thankful God put there is Mike Thompson, Mike challenged me not to just look and say I was a Christian but to know why and to be able to give people an answer to why you believe in Christ. He caused me to study the Bible to answer the many questions he would ask me, always seeming to put me on the spot, and the way he looked at you always made you think, "Did I answer that correctly?" Today, I am still learning and many in my life continue to challenge me to know God more intimately. I just pray that I am returning the favor for all those that invested in me. Thank you to all those that invest in the lives of others.
I already mentioned that today is my birthday and it is one of those days that I usually shared with Regina. We would go to dinner maybe a movie or just coffee, it didn't matter what we did we just did it together. The reminder that she is not here causes loneliness that I can't put into words, words don't even explain what I am feeling. This would have been the 30th birthday shared together, but I am learning to be content with the 29 we had together. I don't want to rush this process or God, but I don't like being alone. It's not how I was designed by God, any of us for that matter. I find my strength in Christ of course, but there is nothing like hearing an audible voice that affirms you. Telling you, you are doing a great job her or there. Reminding you, though you are beautifully and wonderfully made that God's not done with you yet. Someone that thanks you for going to work and taking care of the family. These are things I unfortunatly often took for granted not realizing that one day I would do it on my own, without my companion. Yes, I wake up in the morning trying to find strength in Christ alone, but it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to bare. I will make it through this day, this week, this year and even this life with or without another helpmate, only because of Christ. How could you without Him I could not imagine!!!
How do I wrap this up on a positive? Like this; Pray that God continue to heal my heart, Pray that God will bring it to your mind when you feel others need an encouraging word (THANKS TAMMY IT WAS TIMELY), Pray that God prepares me for whatever the future is. Don't forget to thank those in your life that have had an impact. And finally, just remember you can't catch widow/widower status, it just happens. Love to all.
Blessings
Kevin
Monday, April 2, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Why are we here and would it matter if we weren't???
No this is not "Its a Wonderful Life" but have you ever sat down alone and quite with God and asked why am I here? What is it that you want me to be doing? Am I doing what I should be doing? Questions that I have asked but usually never wanted the real answer. It is easy to lie to ourselves and most people putting up a huge front so no one really sees the real you, but not for God because He sees it all, and if you are quite, still and listen --- truly listen you will hear the Holy Spirits conviction about what to do and what to change. This is the last day of Spring Break 2012 and these are some of the questions I am working through with my two oldest, some with H&H but not as deep.
Katie, "Dad I really miss Mom why did God need her more than He thinks I need her?" Me, "God doesn't need her more than you, you do need her more, but your Mother is not here because Satan deceived both Adam and Eve and every since we have lived in a fallen world one that Satan comes only to steal and kill and destroy (John 10:10a) (this is why I have the service for Regina DVD'd so I can recall the things the Pastor said) So you see God knew when your Mom was coming home to be with Him but I don't believe He caused it and don't forget that even though it was bad for us at the time Romans tells us that, in all things God works for the good of those who love Him...(Romans 8:28). The one thing I have discovered in this life is that I am not afraid to say I don't have a clue but if I go to God's word I can usually find the answer. I miss your mother too, especially in times like this when I feel inadequate to answer the questions given to me, your mother would encourage you by just sitting there." Now we know I'd be just picking out the Pollyanna side if I didn't tell you that she wouldn't just sit there she gave her opinion and usually it just encouraged the answer given, but she was not without an opinion. So confirmation it does matter that I am here.
Why am I here first and foremost because I am a Christ-Follower it is to love Him and spread the "Good News" about Him. Then I am to "train up my child in His ways, so that one day you will not depart far from it." Now I pray you (children) never stray and if you do, that Holy Spirit voice tells you to get back on track. I am doing an okay job at this ,but because it is a new "Season of Life" for me one that is important with much at stake I have decided to focus more energy on making sure that My children are on the right course and that as they mature to adulthood that people will say that is a Godly Man or Woman and That Christ shine through them more than my bad habits. So to answer the second question, "Would it matter if I weren't?" the answer is yes it always matters to God that you are her, but even if you are not God can still bring good out of it.
Finally, don't for get the "b" to John 10:10,I (Jesus) have come that the may have life, and have it to the full. Jesus died to end death, to end the grip that sin has over us and to show us the hope we have in Him. It matters that you are here and it matters more that you are serving Jesus. If you are still wondering why your here and you have never given your life to Christ then that is the very reason you are here now. God's providence has brought you here to in order that you can see that Jesus is who He claimed to be "Savior" because we need to be saved from our sin, yes "we all fall short of the Glory of God," Romans 3:23 and Because we are sinful payday is coming but Christ paid the price for our sins (Romans 6:23) and (Romans 5:8). And if we will confess Him as Lord we will also be saved. (Romans 10:9) It really is as easy as admit, believe and confess but it must be from the heart. Call someone to explain this better.
God Bless
Kevin
Friday, March 16, 2012
Sprin Break 2012
Many firsts on this vacation; from having someone else not family with us, traveling without my navigator, being in charge of planning everything. None of these things did I prepare for. First of all I have never planned a vacation, Regina would heavelie suggest that "I" needed a vacation and so we decided where and she did pretty much the rest. A vacation in my mind involves golf, fishing, sleeping in the afternoon and at least one juicy steak (as stated in my mind). This time it was okay guys what do you want to do? Followed by many suggestions that added up to some serious cash, so we took everyones suggestions tried to do one. We have fished not caught, we have shopped, we have done lazer tag and go-carts, saw SIX in concert, visited the talking roock caverns and today are going back to Silver Dollar City before returning home. A few naps have been caught have see a bobcat no deer, some really crazy signs from speed limit 12 1/2 MPH to Slow Children, second one's funniest to us probably, but I'm sure you get it.
This trip has been different and difficult at times without Regina, but one we had to do I think. It was hard to hear the story of SIX, a group of brothers that sing without any instruments except their own voices (includes drums, guitar licks, sweet bass, brass and much more). You see they are a family of 10 boys to a mother that was told she would never have children and yes just a few years ago they lost thier mother to cancer. Lynn, one of the boys wrote a song for her and not one person in my group was dry eyed. The reason we came to Branson was because of Regina, so I was suprized when the kids wanted to do this trip. It has been very rewarding, and yes I look forward to others.
We will talk again soon.
Kevin
This trip has been different and difficult at times without Regina, but one we had to do I think. It was hard to hear the story of SIX, a group of brothers that sing without any instruments except their own voices (includes drums, guitar licks, sweet bass, brass and much more). You see they are a family of 10 boys to a mother that was told she would never have children and yes just a few years ago they lost thier mother to cancer. Lynn, one of the boys wrote a song for her and not one person in my group was dry eyed. The reason we came to Branson was because of Regina, so I was suprized when the kids wanted to do this trip. It has been very rewarding, and yes I look forward to others.
We will talk again soon.
Kevin
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Glad I went glad to be home
This past weekend was the first "Mission Trip" that I have taken since joining NEHBC and let me just say, I am so glad I went. I was joined by some of the most fearless soul-winners (18) and was just in awe of what God is able to accomplish with willing hearts. Below I written a summary account of how it changed me, to here from others I challenge you to join us on Wednesday February 29th at 7:00pm to here personal accounts from team members.
We left Houston Saturday morning at 6:00am, okay more like 6:30, in two passenger vans and luggage in tow headed to New Orleans, LA to share the good news of Jesus Christ. We arrived around 3:00pm after driving through huge and oftentimes blinding downpours. I was sitting in the back seat of one of the vans, a seat I was not used to sitting in because I normally drive, so I had plenty of time to think and pray. I started to feel a rather ill feeling sometime after Lake Charles either because of spiritual attacks or the van swaying back and forth from the 60mph wind gusts first from the north then from the south. For now I just prayed for the ill feeling to go away and it did for the most part. We stayed at the guest houses on the NOBTS and accommodations were dorm room/ hotel in nature, no complaints. Soon after arriving our leader Pastor Greg wanted to get right to the streets; so after a short training, prayer and a quick tour around the area it was to the streets armed with tracts, Bibles and rain attire we hit the streets in groups of three.
My team consisted of Veronica (Veteran Mardi Gras--er), Alex and myself big old guy to protect the lady's. I stuck to the rear as we walked toward Bourbon St., handing out tracts to any that would take them. My first encounter was with a Muslim shopkeeper, as I needed to get a ball cap to keep my rain hood from blocking my sight. Gave him a tract with the money and he gave me my change along with the tract. First rejection out of the way, I'm alive nothing happened, now time to get a taker. We approached a cigar shop, have to say I love the smell of a good cigar, so I asked this young man that had just come out what he was smoking and how was it. After using the CAST technique. I found C-ommon ground; in that he was in NO for a drill competition at Tulane with the Corp of Cadets, personally I'm not an Aggie but Regina's twin brother is '87 so that allowed me to break the ice a little. When I moved into Spiritual matters he said he was an Atheist. I continued to ask him questions about his faith to see if we could find any common ground. When asked about morallity he said, "there was none." So I asked him if I punch one of my girls in the mouth what would he do? "Stop you," he said. Why if my reality says it's okay ot do it who are you to stop me. We finally agreed he was not an Ateist but an Agnostic because he didn't care one way or the other. His friends prompted him that it was time to go of the five the "born again" guy and the "Pordestant" did not take the tracts but the others did. Finally, to Bourbon St. and the rain stopped people began to fill the streets it was soon a very crowded and oppressed place to be, and I was feeling it. At this point it was all I could do to pick my feet up to walk, a feeling that I have never experienced in my life, knowing this exactly what Satan would want I sent out a prayer request to about the ten people that said they would pray for me and my family while I was there. Simply said "PRAY NOW" and they did because we took a quick break to eat and went back to the streets. All and all-many tracts passed out and the gospel was shared 3-times. Back to the room after feeling like I did 12 rounds with Satan and slept like a rock.
After taking a ribbing from my roomate for snoring, a problem I shared before going to bed, it was time to debrief share with the 9:00 service and back to the streets. Day two accomplished about the same type of encounters for our group, with many chances to talk to people about why we were there. On day three we concentrated our efforts to the Riverwalk and I had one very good full gospel presentation with a young college student from WFU in Tallehasse, although Ryan did not make a decission he was listening very closely.
I can say that this was the hardest and most fullfilling time we can have as Christians on mission. The attacks are great, the oppression is felt and the Holy Spirit was engaging. Given the opportunity I will do this again. I will also be going with Hellfighters as a supporter until further notice. I teach my class to be on mission where ever they go, as we are cammanded. This has brought a new passion for the lost.
God Bless
We left Houston Saturday morning at 6:00am, okay more like 6:30, in two passenger vans and luggage in tow headed to New Orleans, LA to share the good news of Jesus Christ. We arrived around 3:00pm after driving through huge and oftentimes blinding downpours. I was sitting in the back seat of one of the vans, a seat I was not used to sitting in because I normally drive, so I had plenty of time to think and pray. I started to feel a rather ill feeling sometime after Lake Charles either because of spiritual attacks or the van swaying back and forth from the 60mph wind gusts first from the north then from the south. For now I just prayed for the ill feeling to go away and it did for the most part. We stayed at the guest houses on the NOBTS and accommodations were dorm room/ hotel in nature, no complaints. Soon after arriving our leader Pastor Greg wanted to get right to the streets; so after a short training, prayer and a quick tour around the area it was to the streets armed with tracts, Bibles and rain attire we hit the streets in groups of three.
My team consisted of Veronica (Veteran Mardi Gras--er), Alex and myself big old guy to protect the lady's. I stuck to the rear as we walked toward Bourbon St., handing out tracts to any that would take them. My first encounter was with a Muslim shopkeeper, as I needed to get a ball cap to keep my rain hood from blocking my sight. Gave him a tract with the money and he gave me my change along with the tract. First rejection out of the way, I'm alive nothing happened, now time to get a taker. We approached a cigar shop, have to say I love the smell of a good cigar, so I asked this young man that had just come out what he was smoking and how was it. After using the CAST technique. I found C-ommon ground; in that he was in NO for a drill competition at Tulane with the Corp of Cadets, personally I'm not an Aggie but Regina's twin brother is '87 so that allowed me to break the ice a little. When I moved into Spiritual matters he said he was an Atheist. I continued to ask him questions about his faith to see if we could find any common ground. When asked about morallity he said, "there was none." So I asked him if I punch one of my girls in the mouth what would he do? "Stop you," he said. Why if my reality says it's okay ot do it who are you to stop me. We finally agreed he was not an Ateist but an Agnostic because he didn't care one way or the other. His friends prompted him that it was time to go of the five the "born again" guy and the "Pordestant" did not take the tracts but the others did. Finally, to Bourbon St. and the rain stopped people began to fill the streets it was soon a very crowded and oppressed place to be, and I was feeling it. At this point it was all I could do to pick my feet up to walk, a feeling that I have never experienced in my life, knowing this exactly what Satan would want I sent out a prayer request to about the ten people that said they would pray for me and my family while I was there. Simply said "PRAY NOW" and they did because we took a quick break to eat and went back to the streets. All and all-many tracts passed out and the gospel was shared 3-times. Back to the room after feeling like I did 12 rounds with Satan and slept like a rock.
After taking a ribbing from my roomate for snoring, a problem I shared before going to bed, it was time to debrief share with the 9:00 service and back to the streets. Day two accomplished about the same type of encounters for our group, with many chances to talk to people about why we were there. On day three we concentrated our efforts to the Riverwalk and I had one very good full gospel presentation with a young college student from WFU in Tallehasse, although Ryan did not make a decission he was listening very closely.
I can say that this was the hardest and most fullfilling time we can have as Christians on mission. The attacks are great, the oppression is felt and the Holy Spirit was engaging. Given the opportunity I will do this again. I will also be going with Hellfighters as a supporter until further notice. I teach my class to be on mission where ever they go, as we are cammanded. This has brought a new passion for the lost.
God Bless
Friday, February 17, 2012
This New Season of Life
This is what I'm going to say tonight at a "Father/Daughter" banquet so around seven this evening I would be honored if you would pray that I give a word that can be used by others.
I have officially entered into a New Season for my life, one I did not choose, one I did not want and one that at times I am ill-equipped to handle. Nevertheless it is one that through God's providence I am in. In all things of God you choose to run to Him or you choose to build resentment and anger, your choice. I personally am choosing to run too God. Because the Bible does teach us that everything that God brings us to He will also bring us through. Over ten times in the Bible both Old and New Testaments it states, "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can try to do this on my own or I can allow God to work in my life as I rely on His promises. Again I say as Joshua did, "as for me and my house I choose the Lord."
I said I was ill-equipped, I am. I am not sure anything I have done in life could have prepared me to play the role of Father and Mother, Father - yes Mother - NO! Katie has been pretty well taught most things she needs to know being a woman; hygiene, the dreaded talk and what boys really want. I taught her to always have an exit strategy and to have it preplanned because your mind becomes very foggy when stuck in a position you didn't want to be in, and when he says I love you his definition may be different than the one you have for love, his may require action and yours just attention. This all makes perfect sense to the guys out there because this is what we do. We plan, we fix and we just take care of it, but Katie and Hannah need something different, something that is not very natural to me. They need someone to listen, just listen, nothing else but look at them and listen, now the really hard part, and empathize with there struggle at the same time without judgment, when executed properly often only requiring a hug at the end to make it all well. Sounds easy try to do it, when you walk in the door from Bible Study and hear your daughter running downstairs, she's already crying so you know it's got to be serious, met by the sobs and a hug. She said, "Just hold me. I'm sorry for crying, I know you can't handle crying, it's just -- I wish Mom where here -- she always knew what to say." All I could think is who hurt my daughter and am I going to have to hurt them too (Constant struggle in a mans head "turn the other cheek", "or an eye for an eye"). So I simply asked do you want me to take care of it or just hold you? (note to self here, High School girl drama only requires a hug, as the cure) I didn't have to go all "Mafioso" (in my mind sounded like- with a Brando deep growl, "You hurta my daughter now you know I must hurt a you, what would peoples think if I allow this disrespect." I know to much TV and in my head it sounded like Brando).
Now Hannah that's a different story, she is only half trained, yes she has heard all of the stories but has been allowed for the past year to kind of self-train because I didn't want to take that away from Regina's role of Mother. I will have to step up my game some with Ms. Hannah and solicit the Titus women of this church to come alongside and help train up this child. Hannah needs to learn how to be the supportive wife understanding that each of us has roles and this is done not to say ones better than the other but simply to prevent chaos.
As for me, I sometimes feel like I caught a disease that if you get too close you too may catch it. Lonely - yes, discouraged - on occasion, giving up - no way. Still I'm trying to find the time to grieve, this usually happens on Wednesday evenings right before church and I have no idea why. So, what does all this mean? Instead of me trying to teach my kids how to be the best students or the best athletes, I am going to train them to love the Lord our God with all their heart, mind and soul and to put others needs before their own. To respect authority, work hard and to obey God. What has this New Season of Life caused me to do, rely on God not just for the big things but for all things. Thank you and God bless all of you.
I have officially entered into a New Season for my life, one I did not choose, one I did not want and one that at times I am ill-equipped to handle. Nevertheless it is one that through God's providence I am in. In all things of God you choose to run to Him or you choose to build resentment and anger, your choice. I personally am choosing to run too God. Because the Bible does teach us that everything that God brings us to He will also bring us through. Over ten times in the Bible both Old and New Testaments it states, "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can try to do this on my own or I can allow God to work in my life as I rely on His promises. Again I say as Joshua did, "as for me and my house I choose the Lord."
I said I was ill-equipped, I am. I am not sure anything I have done in life could have prepared me to play the role of Father and Mother, Father - yes Mother - NO! Katie has been pretty well taught most things she needs to know being a woman; hygiene, the dreaded talk and what boys really want. I taught her to always have an exit strategy and to have it preplanned because your mind becomes very foggy when stuck in a position you didn't want to be in, and when he says I love you his definition may be different than the one you have for love, his may require action and yours just attention. This all makes perfect sense to the guys out there because this is what we do. We plan, we fix and we just take care of it, but Katie and Hannah need something different, something that is not very natural to me. They need someone to listen, just listen, nothing else but look at them and listen, now the really hard part, and empathize with there struggle at the same time without judgment, when executed properly often only requiring a hug at the end to make it all well. Sounds easy try to do it, when you walk in the door from Bible Study and hear your daughter running downstairs, she's already crying so you know it's got to be serious, met by the sobs and a hug. She said, "Just hold me. I'm sorry for crying, I know you can't handle crying, it's just -- I wish Mom where here -- she always knew what to say." All I could think is who hurt my daughter and am I going to have to hurt them too (Constant struggle in a mans head "turn the other cheek", "or an eye for an eye"). So I simply asked do you want me to take care of it or just hold you? (note to self here, High School girl drama only requires a hug, as the cure) I didn't have to go all "Mafioso" (in my mind sounded like- with a Brando deep growl, "You hurta my daughter now you know I must hurt a you, what would peoples think if I allow this disrespect." I know to much TV and in my head it sounded like Brando).
Now Hannah that's a different story, she is only half trained, yes she has heard all of the stories but has been allowed for the past year to kind of self-train because I didn't want to take that away from Regina's role of Mother. I will have to step up my game some with Ms. Hannah and solicit the Titus women of this church to come alongside and help train up this child. Hannah needs to learn how to be the supportive wife understanding that each of us has roles and this is done not to say ones better than the other but simply to prevent chaos.
As for me, I sometimes feel like I caught a disease that if you get too close you too may catch it. Lonely - yes, discouraged - on occasion, giving up - no way. Still I'm trying to find the time to grieve, this usually happens on Wednesday evenings right before church and I have no idea why. So, what does all this mean? Instead of me trying to teach my kids how to be the best students or the best athletes, I am going to train them to love the Lord our God with all their heart, mind and soul and to put others needs before their own. To respect authority, work hard and to obey God. What has this New Season of Life caused me to do, rely on God not just for the big things but for all things. Thank you and God bless all of you.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Thank you
Many of you know because you participated, but recently there was an imprompto fundraiser to assist in paying off some of the medical bills that mounted up during the battle waged against Regina's body. We know that the cancer didn't win but it did pay a mighty toll on us, and as Satan has come to steal, kill and destroy, God has sought fit to reclaim, give eternal life and restore. I want to thank all that participated, it was a huge blessing to us. Daron said that many did not get to participate and wanted to do something, don't worry I think Daron has agreed to cook again just before Easter to once again give you the opportunity to enjoy his awesome smokehouse foods. (More Details I am sure later.)
This actually came at a perfect time because last week I was feeling extremly lonely and it just was a very difficult week. This week has reminded me once again how hard this is: Katie has had a few blows given to her and generally she would talk to her mother about such matters because normally her dad would say dust your feet off and move on. Last night all that was here was me and all I could do was hug her because I didn't know how to fix it other than beat up the other person an act THAT I WILL NOT CARRY OUT (for the record). So again as I said all I could do was hug her, it just didn't seem like enough. I also missed an opportunity to pray with her and I'm sad about that, but I have prayed since for her and will be more watchful for the next moment. All of this just proves why God puts a mom and a dad in the home; as I struggle to understand emotion, Regina was all emotion and her problem solving came from that line of thinking. I on the otherhand fix stuff, garbage disposal not working then I fix it, someone hurts my kid then I fix it. I am learning, my mouth on the end of a open fire hydrant, to breath listen and let some things just work themselves out. Don't worry honey if you read this I am always here for a hug, I love you!!!
Wanted those of you that read this to know that on Thursday evenings we have started a new Bible Study for men to meet here at my home, 8611 Malardcrest Dr., Humble, 77346, ALL ARE WELCOME. This is a Matt Chandler series that we will do on the book of Philippians. Look forward to seeing many of you, it starts at 7:30pm and we will go until 9:00pm this should give you time to get home from work and then come and share with others.
Again thank you for all the support that each of you give to me with your comments and encouragement to the blog and also to all of you that helped this past week bless us in a time of need.
God Bless
Kevin
This actually came at a perfect time because last week I was feeling extremly lonely and it just was a very difficult week. This week has reminded me once again how hard this is: Katie has had a few blows given to her and generally she would talk to her mother about such matters because normally her dad would say dust your feet off and move on. Last night all that was here was me and all I could do was hug her because I didn't know how to fix it other than beat up the other person an act THAT I WILL NOT CARRY OUT (for the record). So again as I said all I could do was hug her, it just didn't seem like enough. I also missed an opportunity to pray with her and I'm sad about that, but I have prayed since for her and will be more watchful for the next moment. All of this just proves why God puts a mom and a dad in the home; as I struggle to understand emotion, Regina was all emotion and her problem solving came from that line of thinking. I on the otherhand fix stuff, garbage disposal not working then I fix it, someone hurts my kid then I fix it. I am learning, my mouth on the end of a open fire hydrant, to breath listen and let some things just work themselves out. Don't worry honey if you read this I am always here for a hug, I love you!!!
Wanted those of you that read this to know that on Thursday evenings we have started a new Bible Study for men to meet here at my home, 8611 Malardcrest Dr., Humble, 77346, ALL ARE WELCOME. This is a Matt Chandler series that we will do on the book of Philippians. Look forward to seeing many of you, it starts at 7:30pm and we will go until 9:00pm this should give you time to get home from work and then come and share with others.
Again thank you for all the support that each of you give to me with your comments and encouragement to the blog and also to all of you that helped this past week bless us in a time of need.
God Bless
Kevin
Friday, February 3, 2012
Missing Her Like Crazy
I keep coming across things that remind me of some of the quirkie stuff we used to do and say and still making me sad. For example, I saw a journal entry from her about someone and she said, "they were such a crack smoker." Regina also, has so many pictures, so many that it is borderline hording the amount that I have. I need to put them in albums, but am afraid I'd go broke on supplies (note to self: project for another day). Too many years of memories to forget, so how do you get through a day without breaking down? Each day gets better and I know I can still expect sad days. The hardest part is waking up at night after having such a vivid dream and looking for her and she is nowhere to be found.
Last night I had a dream that somehow she had come back to life (clue #1 this is a dream) and they now had a cure for her. I know that's crazy but that was the dream. The problem was that it was so vivid in my mind that it seemed to be real. I have had some real sad days this week and really need to get past this. Yes, I know it's a process and I am learning to be content in the process but, I am truley lonely, all I have known for the past 30 years is a life with Regina as a part of it, and now the part that made me complete as Christ kneaded us together is torn away leaving a wound. Sure, I'll keep going on and most people will never even know the pain I feel, and "no," I probably won't even admit to it.
The kids seem to be doing better, grades are going up schedules are normalizing and we understand this is "make it" time. We are all getting excited about our vacation together it should be a good time. I hope it is a time to reflect, heal and draw close as a family. We will focus on all that God has given and be thankful we are still able to say his name boldly.
Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God
God Bless, Kevin
Last night I had a dream that somehow she had come back to life (clue #1 this is a dream) and they now had a cure for her. I know that's crazy but that was the dream. The problem was that it was so vivid in my mind that it seemed to be real. I have had some real sad days this week and really need to get past this. Yes, I know it's a process and I am learning to be content in the process but, I am truley lonely, all I have known for the past 30 years is a life with Regina as a part of it, and now the part that made me complete as Christ kneaded us together is torn away leaving a wound. Sure, I'll keep going on and most people will never even know the pain I feel, and "no," I probably won't even admit to it.
The kids seem to be doing better, grades are going up schedules are normalizing and we understand this is "make it" time. We are all getting excited about our vacation together it should be a good time. I hope it is a time to reflect, heal and draw close as a family. We will focus on all that God has given and be thankful we are still able to say his name boldly.
Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God
God Bless, Kevin
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)