I keep coming across things that remind me of some of the quirkie stuff we used to do and say and still making me sad. For example, I saw a journal entry from her about someone and she said, "they were such a crack smoker." Regina also, has so many pictures, so many that it is borderline hording the amount that I have. I need to put them in albums, but am afraid I'd go broke on supplies (note to self: project for another day). Too many years of memories to forget, so how do you get through a day without breaking down? Each day gets better and I know I can still expect sad days. The hardest part is waking up at night after having such a vivid dream and looking for her and she is nowhere to be found.
Last night I had a dream that somehow she had come back to life (clue #1 this is a dream) and they now had a cure for her. I know that's crazy but that was the dream. The problem was that it was so vivid in my mind that it seemed to be real. I have had some real sad days this week and really need to get past this. Yes, I know it's a process and I am learning to be content in the process but, I am truley lonely, all I have known for the past 30 years is a life with Regina as a part of it, and now the part that made me complete as Christ kneaded us together is torn away leaving a wound. Sure, I'll keep going on and most people will never even know the pain I feel, and "no," I probably won't even admit to it.
The kids seem to be doing better, grades are going up schedules are normalizing and we understand this is "make it" time. We are all getting excited about our vacation together it should be a good time. I hope it is a time to reflect, heal and draw close as a family. We will focus on all that God has given and be thankful we are still able to say his name boldly.
Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God
God Bless, Kevin
I know you, Regina, Steve & I had not hung out a lot the last few years but we have such great memories and of course the best part is remembering the laughter!! I think the last time we were with you both was at TGIFriday's a couple of years ago (which could have been longer because I have no memory any more). You both had finished eating but joined Steve & I as we were waiting on our food. My heart does break for the sadness that you are feeling and I know it is part of the process but it is so hard to go through sadness or watch those you care for go through sadness. I have Regina's memorial program on my refrigerator and I think of her almost daily (okay if I'm truthful probably several times a day when I go to the refrigerator....lol) In all seriousness though, it has been very hard for us to believe that Regina is no longer with us, even though we know death is a part of life and we will see her again. You & your children are continually in my prayers! My our Lord Jesus Christ continue to give you & your family the comfort & peace that you need. Big Hugs! Sheila
ReplyDeleteIdea on the pictures. If they are on a computer, you can upload them directly to Winkflash.com. This is what I am doing now since I have MILLIONS of pics too. You pick the album size you want and you can either auto format and they sort them by date for you into the album OR you can take more time and choose each page templete and drag and drop in the pics. Pages allow for pics and text, so you can completely customize each one.
ReplyDeleteWhat's great is you can sort by "events", by year, by child...I know it's overwhelming but it is easy once you get going...even something the kids can chip in and do with you in their free time.
I have started with specific vacations. They are mostly pic. I figure I can always handwrite around the pics one day as an empty nester:0 Just want to get them out of DataLand to look at for now.
Go for it!!!
As far as $$$, you can work on an album for as long as you need. It stores in your account (which is free) and you can always go in and edit it. That's why the kids can chip in...they can add text to some of their fav ones! What I do is wait for the email with the Flat Rate book sale. It is the one price, up to 100 pages!!! That's awesome savings!!! You can do one book per year, highlights for every 5 years, nothing but silly faces and sayings, Christmas's only, etc.....Two other specials I wait to order with is BOGO free and you can just order prints alone at $.06 each and put in your own album.
Hope this helps and encourages you. I'd say send them to me and I'll do it but I am WAAAAAAYYYYY behind too!!! Part of that whole "love taking pictures of every moment of my child's life and I have FOUR!!!!!!" lol