This New Season of Life

This is what I'm going to say tonight at a "Father/Daughter" banquet so around seven this evening I would be honored if you would pray that I give a word that can be used by others.

I have officially entered into a New Season for my life, one I did not choose, one I did not want and one that at times I am ill-equipped to handle. Nevertheless it is one that through God's providence I am in. In all things of God you choose to run to Him or you choose to build resentment and anger, your choice. I personally am choosing to run too God. Because the Bible does teach us that everything that God brings us to He will also bring us through. Over ten times in the Bible both Old and New Testaments it states, "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can try to do this on my own or I can allow God to work in my life as I rely on His promises. Again I say as Joshua did, "as for me and my house I choose the Lord."

I said I was ill-equipped, I am. I am not sure anything I have done in life could have prepared me to play the role of Father and Mother, Father - yes Mother - NO! Katie has been pretty well taught most things she needs to know being a woman; hygiene, the dreaded talk and what boys really want. I taught her to always have an exit strategy and to have it preplanned because your mind becomes very foggy when stuck in a position you didn't want to be in, and when he says I love you his definition may be different than the one you have for love, his may require action and yours just attention. This all makes perfect sense to the guys out there because this is what we do. We plan, we fix and we just take care of it, but Katie and Hannah need something different, something that is not very natural to me. They need someone to listen, just listen, nothing else but look at them and listen, now the really hard part, and empathize with there struggle at the same time without judgment, when executed properly often only requiring a hug at the end to make it all well. Sounds easy try to do it, when you walk in the door from Bible Study and hear your daughter running downstairs, she's already crying so you know it's got to be serious, met by the sobs and a hug. She said, "Just hold me. I'm sorry for crying, I know you can't handle crying, it's just -- I wish Mom where here -- she always knew what to say." All I could think is who hurt my daughter and am I going to have to hurt them too (Constant struggle in a mans head "turn the other cheek", "or an eye for an eye"). So I simply asked do you want me to take care of it or just hold you? (note to self here, High School girl drama only requires a hug, as the cure) I didn't have to go all "Mafioso" (in my mind sounded like- with a Brando deep growl, "You hurta my daughter now you know I must hurt a you, what would peoples think if I allow this disrespect." I know to much TV and in my head it sounded like Brando).

Now Hannah that's a different story, she is only half trained, yes she has heard all of the stories but has been allowed for the past year to kind of self-train because I didn't want to take that away from Regina's role of Mother. I will have to step up my game some with Ms. Hannah and solicit the Titus women of this church to come alongside and help train up this child. Hannah needs to learn how to be the supportive wife understanding that each of us has roles and this is done not to say ones better than the other but simply to prevent chaos.

As for me, I sometimes feel like I caught a disease that if you get too close you too may catch it. Lonely - yes, discouraged - on occasion, giving up - no way. Still I'm trying to find the time to grieve, this usually happens on Wednesday evenings right before church and I have no idea why. So, what does all this mean? Instead of me trying to teach my kids how to be the best students or the best athletes, I am going to train them to love the Lord our God with all their heart, mind and soul and to put others needs before their own. To respect authority, work hard and to obey God. What has this New Season of Life caused me to do, rely on God not just for the big things but for all things. Thank you and God bless all of you.